On Raven Radio on Sunday, July 31, 2011 at 2 PM Central Time

This Sunday at 2 PM Central time in the United States, I'll be on Raven Radio. We'll be talking about regional practices, the Midwest Tribes, and the upcoming Lightning Across the Plains heathen gathering. I've been on once before, and enjoyed it quite a bit. Tune in or check out the archived podcast later (#60).

http://www.ravenradio.info/

Mark Ludwig Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Temple of Our Heathen Gods
http://www.heathengods.com

Iceland Trip - Day 1

Two members of Jotun's Bane Kindred, Will Burris and I, traveled to Iceland from April 2-10, 2009. These are some of our photos from the trip. It was an absolutely amazing experience. I really dream about a day when I can take my wife and children there, so they can see and experience what we saw and experienced. Hail Iceland! Hail Asatruars in Iceland!



Mark Ludwig Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Temple of Our Heathen Gods
http://www.heathengods.com

The Transition from Childhood to Adulthood

In our modern American culture, at what point do we mark the transition to adulthood?  At 16 when a teenager gets a driver license?  At 18 when a teenager can vote, or when young men must register for the draft?  Is it at 21, when the legal drinking age is reached?  The truth is, in our modern American culture, there is not clear point where childhood ends and adulthood is reached.  No dividing line.  No rite of passage.  No signal to everyone that this human being is now considered a full-adult, and must meet the responsibilities of a full-adult.

Our definition of when adulthood begins is blurry, at best...and even then, the blurry line keeps getting moved further and further along into the lives of young people.  We're at the point, where we have "children" living at home at the age of 22, 26, 30, and many of these children have never really taken responsibility for themselves.   They don't hold steady jobs, have their own place to live, pay all their own bills, or make decisions in the way that an adult can and should.  I think at times, the tranisition to adulthood can be enormously confusing, and a methodical well-thought out transition can ease some or most of the confusion involved.

THE TRANSITION TO ADULTHOOD WTIHIN OUR KINDREDS AND TRIBES 

Our kindreds and tribes are an excellent place and mechanism for providing this guided transition to adulthood.  A healthy kindred that includes families, is likely already organizing activities and learning opportunities for the children involved in the kindred.  By purposefully shaping these children's activities and learn opportunities into a process of learning and action, we can provide our children with a guided process that logically and inevitably leads to their roles and responsibilities as adults.  This process and the rite of passage at the enf of such a process, make it very clear to a child that its time to take on the role of adult.  The process itself is a proving time, with the rite of passage as the final test that communicates to them that they have learned, they are capable, and that their relationship and participation in the kindred or tribe will be different from this point forward.

The rite of passage also clearly marks for all the adults of a tribe, that a child has made the transition to adult. It makes it clear what the expectations of this new adult in the tribe will be.  It marks the point in time, that the thew for adults now applies to this young adult, and that they have proved themselves ready for those responsibilities.

The rite of passage is not something that you can throw together over a weekend, and think it will have much of an impact on the anyone. The rite of passage itself should be the culmination and completion of years of learning from and interacting with the tribe.  It should incorporate the things the boy or girl has learned, and it should incorporate things that will be expected of them as adults.  It should reinforce the thew of the tribe, and set the young adult on the right course within the tribe.  But it takes time, resources, and effort on everyone's part to make this happen properly.

THE ACTUAL PROCESS OF MAKING AN ADULT 

So, how should this process work?  What should be included in it?  That is going to vary greatly from kindred to kindred.  Every kindred is different...sometimes enormously different.  Thew varies from kindred to kindred.  The responsibilites, activities, and deeds expected from adults in each kindred are different.  There is no cookie-cutter way to do this.

This process and the rite of passage that marks the point of transition is not simply for the boy or girl in question. It is something that serves a purpose for the entire tribe.  Jotun's Bane Kindred is in a position, where we need to seriously start looking at this.  We have two boys and two girls who are at a point, where we need to begin a process of transitioning them to adulthood within the tribe.  We've been trying some things, to see what works, and really examining what we hope to accomplish in this process.

Here are some thoughts on the matter, that we have considered...

1. Whatever method we choose, it should have a male and female path. Boys growing into men, need different knowledge, responsibilities, and experiences than girls growing into women.  To some degree, there will be variations in the process, based on the needs and personality of the child who is going through it as well.  Just as some adults are more spiritual, or intellectual, or physical, or crafty...so do our children differ in their skills and strengths.

2. There has to be a methodical build up to the rite of passage. It can't just "happen one day" out of the blue.  I think years of methodical preparation are needed, with the last year or so featuring an increase in the rate of learning and activities. There are skill sets to be taught and learned.  Mental conditioning applied and learned.  Lore, Thew, and the expectation of the tribe to internalize and understand. 

3. The rite of passage itself should be over a weekend. Perhaps a long weekend, but it should be a weekend. The rite of passage should include the application and of skills and mental conditioning that the boy or girl has learned up to that point. This is a test to ensure they have learned and can apply what they have learned, and a way of showing the boy or girl in very concrete terms exactly how much they have learned and what they are capable of...

4. There should be symbolism and a certain level of drama involved. It should mean something, and truly communicate to all involved exactly how important that moment in time is.  A child has become an adult within the tribe.

5. There should be a clear understanding and expectation of behavior put in place, that EVERYONE understands and agrees to follow from that point forward. The new adult's responsibilities and privillages should be spelled out, and everyone should clearly understand them. 

6. The new adult, should from that point forward be welcomed into adult activities. After the right of passage, the new adult should sit in Symbel with the other adults from that point forward.  They should participate in the Fainings.  Participate in the Study Groups, the kindred meetings, etc.  If we train a child to be an adult, and then ritually transition them to adulthood, then they need to fulfill the adult role and responsibilities from that point forward.  They should also enjoy certain privilages and trust in return for fulfilling these responsibilities. 

7. This should be done at a fairly early age, by today's standards. 13, 14, or 15.  Males and females are capable of exercising adult responsibilities within a kindred at these ages. A 13 or 14 year old at a heathen gathering, should be participating with the adults, rather than running about the whole time with the little ones.

IT REALLY COMES DOWN TO RESPONSIBILTIES AND PRIVELGES

  

The whole process really comes down to preparing our children to fulfill their adult responsibilities, and to be mature enough to enjoy adult privelages without abusing them.

When I've talked about this in the past, there are some that like to point out that among our ancestors, it was often the norm for children to grow up and remain living at home at the age of 30 and beyond.  You might live on the same land and the same grouping of homes until your parents died, and then you would take over as the patriarch or matriarch of the familiy and land. 

But even in these situations, the grown children were working the land and fulfilling enormous responsibilities. They were expected to act as adults, provide as adults, and contribute as adults. They would often build an addition to the homestead for their family (wife and kids), or a separate building nearby.

They were not underachieving. They were not sponging off their parents. They were not in a perpetual state of childhood, wifeless, childless, and without adult responsibility.  In our modern world, there is a stigma on adults living at home with their parents, because in a majority of cases, 30-year-old children still living at home are not great examples of success, responsibility, and achievement.  Certainly there are exceptions to this rule.  There are adult children who temporarily stay at home, working and saving up for a house.  Some adult children move home temporarily while recovering from some crisis, after getting laid off, etc.  But, beyond these exceptions there are a lot of people not acting their age. 

THE CHILDREN OF JOTUN'S BANE KINDRED

Jotun's Bane Kindred has reached a point, where we need to make some decisions about this issue and plot a course. Obviously we can't just wait for our oldest children to be 13, and then start worrying about it. We need to start forming our plans on this, and putting them into action.  We already take our children camping throughout the year, and teach them skills we feel adults should know. We involve them in Fainings and Symbel. We read lore to them, and now that they are getting older, we're giving them materials to read on their own. We are already preparing them for adulthood.

But we need to create a more organized and systematic way of preparing them...so that we don't miss anything. So that our training of our children is a little more complete and consistent, and that we do the best job for them that we can.  I envision that this is going to take a lot of time and effort on our part, but like all things worth working for, the results should be well worth it.

Mark Ludwig Stinson

Jotun's Bane Kindred

Temple of Our Heathen Gods

http://www.heathengods.com

Kindred Trip to St. Louis on 3-28-2009

Back on March 28th, the members of Jotun's Bane Kindred (kids and all), travelled to St. Louis, MO to meet with heathens in the St. Louis area. We gathered at a pizza place where the kids could play, and then went to Sean Cook's house for a going away party and a Symbel.  Click on the play button to view the slideshow:



Mark Ludwig Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Temple of our Heathen Gods
http://www.heathengods.com/

JBK Heathen Pubmoot - March 1, 2009

These photos are from back in March 2009.  Jotun's Bane Kindred has always held Open Pubmoots every couple months so that we can gather with other heathens, eat, drink, talk, and laugh a lot. This pubmoot was our largest up until that time, with about 26 people there. As I type this in 2011...our pubmoots are usually right around 40 to 50 people.  Click the play button to watch the slideshow...



Mark Ludwig Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Temple of Our Heathen Gods
http://www.heathengods.com

Leaving a Kindred Gracefully

This seems like an odd topic for an essay about heathenry. But life is complex. People are called up for active-duty by the military. People are offered better jobs, that are in other cities and states. Marriages break-up, and sometimes one must move to stay close to one's children. The circumstances of one's life can change, and this can make staying with a kindred difficult, if not impossible.

Let me first say, that I would not leave my kindred. I was one of the founding members of Jotun's Bane Kindred, and the formation of our kindred was based on a oath I made directly to Thor and our Gods, prior to me personally knowing even one other heathen. The formation of JBK was something that I had to do. And it is difficult to imagine a situation that could pull me away from my tribe. It means too much to me.

But there are times, when you will have to pull away from a group of people for circumstances beyond your control. If you care at all about your honor, your reputation (Gefrain), and your established friendships within that group...there are things you should do that will make your exit from that group more graceful. Less damaging.

First, you should face the group in-person and explain to them the circumstances of why you must leave. This should happen at an existing meeting, or if need be, a special meeting of the group. An email to the group, or the group's leadership will not suffice. Actually, an email to the group or its leadership completely lacks the directness, the honesty, or the courage that we expect to see from Tru heathens. An email will cause anger and disgust by the group towards you. But a face-to-face explanation to the group, allows them to all hear the facts at once, allows them to see your emotions and attitude about leaving, and allows them to ask questions and have a conversation with you about it.

If you must leave immediately, and a face-to-face meeting is impossible with the group...then its your obligation to call every member of that group, starting with the leadership, and explain to each of them that you are leaving, and why you have to leave. You begin with the leadership of the group out of respect, and so they can begin making the adjustments that need to be made to limit the damage to the group done by your leaving.

If your reasons for leaving are good, and any reasonable person can see why you must leave...telling the group you are leaving will likely not be confrontational. If you are a tight-knit group, telling them will be emotional, but not confrontational.

If you reasons for leaving are sort of sketchy, then expect some fairly serious questions to be asked of you about your reasoning and your motivations. There is no obligation on the members of the group you are leaving to “automatically” accept your reasons for leaving “without question.” After all, you are leaving the group...a group that you committed to. And while you control whether you leave or not, the group itself (and its members) are in control of how they react to your leaving. You have no control of their reaction.

Now, what I've explained above does not seem to be what most people leaving a group seem to want to do. I tell you this from the standpoint of having seen it in various types of groups during my lifetime, including our heathen tribe. Most people seem incapable of facing the group face-to-face and simply explaining why they must leave. For some reason, they can't just come and say:

“This isn't working out for me, I'd like to leave the group but I'd like to remain friends with this kindred.”

“This isn't working out for me, I'd like to start my own kindred, but I want to stay on friendly terms with this kindred.”

“I have to move away for (insert reason), but I want to stay in touch and on friendly terms with this kindred.

Instead, what most people do, is come up with justifications for their leaving that involve being angry with the group. They fear the reaction of the group to their leaving, so they build up anger and emotion towards the group. They begin looking at the group as their enemy, based on the reaction they “believe” they will get. Even though this reaction they “believe” they will get is probably farthest from the truth. And this frustration and anger builds, until they lash out at the group. Essentially, its easier for them to start some kind of fight with the group, so that they can blame their leaving the group on the group itself.

That sounds a little odd, but I've seen it over and over again. Rather than just face the group, explain their reasons, and then pulling away with friendships and their honor intact...people will often take the cowards way out, cause a fight, and then run off. Somewhere in their head, they feel this has shifted the blame and responsibility from their shoulders...but it actually makes things worse. They actually cause more damage to the group and themselves by leaving in this manner.

To limit this sort of damage to your group, kindred, or tribe, its not a bad idea to address the subject of “how to leave the group” in your group's by-laws. Talk about it with new members, so that they know what is expected of them should they ever have to leave. This will not completely prevent people from leaving in the worst of ways, but its better than not addressing the topic at all.

Mark Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Kansas City Area
http://heathengods.com

Carved Purpleheart Godhi Hammer

A Mjolnir necklace...a Thor's Hammer carved from purpleheart wood. It is a large hammer fit for a Godhi or Chieftain, and I gave it as a gift to Magni Thorsson, the Godhi of Mjornir Kindred in Denver, CO on a recent visit by Jotun's Bane Kindred to an event Mjolnir Kindred was hosting.  Click on the photo slideshow to start it:





Mark Ludwig Stinson
Jotun's Bane Kindred
Temple of Our Heathen Gods
http://www.heathengods.com